I wish I could be angry. But I can’t be. Because a full spectrum of emotions would overwhelm me. One small thing can tip my immune system to relapse. I’m not mad. No. I’m trapped.
Like a prisoner in lonely confinement who looks forward to just one call. The moments of escape are sweet. But only increase the height of the fall. Is being behind bars harder or worse when a day out of seven is spent getting teased outside enjoying standing tall?
Tao Te Ching tells us that whether you go up or down the ladder, your position is shaky. If you keep both feet planted, your position is secure. But frankly, it’s damn hard to resist climbing up to see the view when you think you’ve finally been cured.
Will I survive tomorrow? Yes, I will. But it’ll be fleeting moments of despair and waiting “until”. I’ll perform. I’ll get the job done. For who knows, I could finally turn the tables after this next supplement purchase from Amazon.