I’m on my way to an IV. Writing this driving on my phone a bit riskily But I built my biz on my lap in the car The lengths I’m willing to go to is far. To fix my health which also requires wealth But I forget the emotions hiding in stealth I’m mechanical, moving …
On top, on the game Nobody can see me as lame I run the meetings and they see How I perform as the stable me I feel good for a week I feel good for two I feel bad for two I feel bad who knew Nobody can tell what’s on the inside They see …
I’m reaching the effort is there I’d already have you if life was fair But one night of low sleepAnd I’m knocked back deep Relentless I know I deserve you But I still haven’t picked up all the clues I’ve spent the money, the time, the habitsYou can just beat up my soul and stab …
I wish I could be angry. But I can’t be. Because a full spectrum of emotions would overwhelm me. One small thing can tip my immune system to relapse. I’m not mad. No. I’m trapped. Like a prisoner in lonely confinement who looks forward to just one call. The moments of escape are sweet. But …
I’ve been at war for far too longAnd I’m readyThis is my PTSD song5 years steady When is my turn to finally be freeLet me be free from this prison that you can all find me I got all these feelings And I don’t know how to feel themI’m ready to go down a new …
They say no pain no gainBut I’ve Sitting here daily feeling like my minds going insaneIt’s weird how the news doesn’t let it get any fameIts scary how many people out there with a Lyme brain You think of big things like maybe I’ll be an actor One audition leaves you like you’ve been run …
I Was Told…Effort and mindset that’s all I needDon’t be upset your thoughts can misleadBut you get ill and your only bet is treatmentYou realize the book the secret is just lazy and convenient Suicidal thoughts 27 days out of 30All alone because others get tired of being worriedYou know its the illness but these …
I’ve been in hell for years and years and years. Survival mode, feeling sick every damn day, and the biggest thing I’m doing is trying to prevent suicide. Then all a sudden, I get some relief. I start to feel normal. I feel good for once. When you haven’t felt good in 6+ years, and …
Feel emptyBut it isn’t a bad emptyFeel neutralBut it isn’t a bad neutral It’s a feeling of the aftermath of chaosYou don’t feel bad. You feel neutralized.You don’t feel intensity or anything thrillingBut your peace isn’t exactly fulfilling I feel clear minded, calm, slightly contentI wonder what this last Lyme relapse meantStriving forwards with a …
Years ago today you decided to leaveLeft us confused on how to grieveWas it on purpose or was it random fateWas it because we responded too late People always talk highly of those that are deadSo this time I will tell the truth insteadYes, you had some anger issues every now and thenBut you always …